LV. 22
GP 1k

【情報】羅禮士的真實

樓主 就叫我熊吧 seanbear
GP55 BP-
  各方硬派男星齊聚,浴血任務2即將在今年暑假堂堂登場→看介紹,續集更加入了幾位大名鼎鼎的硬漢前輩,例如尚克勞范達美,以及今天的主題查克羅禮士。雖然他已年過七旬且很久沒有參與螢幕演出,但相信不少人在第四台看過重播的李小龍的名片《猛龍過江》,該片中與李小龍對打的那名空手道家就是查克本人。
 
 
說了這麼多其實只是想帶出這篇的主題,也就是查克羅禮士的真實!我這邊先翻譯一些個人覺得很好笑的部分,想要看完整版的請去來源網址慢慢看,也可以自己增加條目
 
 
When Chuck Norris was born he drove his mom home from the hospital.
當羅禮士出生後,開車把他媽媽從醫院載回家
 
Chuck Norris attacks sharks when he smells them bleed.
當羅禮士聞到鯊魚在流血,他會攻擊牠
 
Chuck Norris was once bitten by a poisonous snake. after three das of excrutiating pain, the cobra died.
羅禮士曾被一條毒蛇咬過。在經過三天極度的痛苦後,那條蛇死了
 
There is only one thing Chuck Norris can't do, which is lose.
只有一件事是羅禮士做不到的,那就是輸
 
In Texas, Chuck Norris gave my car a push with his foot... I was arrested for speeding on the Autobahn in Germany.
在德州,羅禮士用他的腳推了我的車一把…我在德國的高速公路上被逮捕,因為超速
 
Once the cop pulled over Chuck Norris....the cop was lucky to leave with a warning.
曾有交通警察攔下羅禮士,那警察很幸運地只被口頭警告後放走了
 
Newborn babies cry because they know they just have entered the world of Chuk Norris.
新生兒會哭泣是因為他們知道他們來到了羅禮士的世界
 
Chuck Norris' calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd; no one fools Chuck Norris.
羅禮士的日曆從3/31之後就是4/2,沒有人可以愚弄羅禮士
 
Chuck Norris doesn't call the wrong number; you answer the wrong phone.
羅禮士從不打錯電話;只有對方接錯電話
 
Uri Geller bends spoons with his mind, Chuck Norris bends minds with a spoon.
尤里蓋勒(有名的特異功能者)用精神力扭曲湯匙,羅禮士用湯匙扭曲精神力
 
Some magicans can walk on water, Chuck Norris can swim through land.
有些魔術師能在水上行走,羅禮士能在陸地中游泳
 
Chuck Norris has a grizzly bear carpet in his room. The bear isn't dead it is just afriad to move.
羅禮士的房間有一件棕熊地毯,那頭熊還沒死,牠只是不敢動
 
When Chuck Norris enters a room, he doesn't turn the lights on, he turns the dark off.
當羅禮士走進房間,他不開燈,他關掉黑暗
 
Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.
羅禮士在漢堡王點了一個大麥克,而且他拿到了
 
Chuck Norris makes onions cry.
羅禮士讓洋蔥哭泣
 
Chuck Norris was denied auditioning for "Mission Impossible", for obvious reasons.
羅禮士被《不可能的任務》拒絕試鏡,原因很明顯
 
Chuck Norris was originally cast as the main character in 24, but was replaced by the producers when he managed to kill every terrorist and save the day in 12 minutes and 37 seconds.
羅禮士原本被安排出演24小時反恐任務的主要角色,但被製作人換角了,因為他在12分鐘37秒就殺光了所有的恐怖份子
 
James Cameron wanted Chuck Norris to play the Terminator. However, upon reflection, he realized that would have turned his movie into a documentary, so he went with Arnold Schwarzenegger.
詹姆斯卡麥隆找羅禮士飾演魔鬼終結者,但他發現這樣會變成紀錄片,所以改找阿諾
 
Chuck Norris was in all 6 Star Wars movies...... As The Force.
羅禮士在六部《星際大戰》中都有出演,他演「原力」
 
Chuck Norris has a stunt double. For crying scenes.
羅禮士會使用替身,在要哭的場景
 
When the president pushes the big red button Chuck Norris's cell phone rings.
當總統按下紅色的大按鈕時,羅禮士的手機會響起
 
Chuck Norris and Superman once fought each other on a bet. The loser had to start wearing his underwear on the outside of his pants.
羅禮士曾經和超人對打,並打賭輸的人要把內褲穿在褲子外面
 
When Batman is in trouble, he turns on the Chuck Norris signal.
當蝙蝠俠遭遇困難時,他會打開羅禮士探照燈
 
Once upon a time, Chuck Norris moved a Mack truck out of his way. We now know this truck as Optimus Prime.
曾經有一次,羅禮士把一輛卡車從他的路上移開。那輛卡車就是我們現在知道的柯博文
 
Chuck Norris has Xbox Live on his PS3.
羅禮士有一個Xbox帳號,在PS3上
 
There are four legal methods of execution in the United States: lethal injection, gas chamber, electric chair and Chuck Norris.
在美國有四項合法的死刑:毒物注射、毒氣室、電椅,以及羅禮士
 
Contrary to popular beleif, Rome WAS built in a day, by Chuck Norris.
跟一般認知相反,羅馬是一天造成的,透過羅禮士
 
When Alexander Bell invented the telephone, he had 3 missed calls from Chuck Norris.
貝爾發明電話時,發現他有三通羅禮士的未接來電
 
Wizards quiver hearing Voldemort's name, but they cry in mass hysteria hearing Chuck Norris' name.
聽見佛地魔的名字時巫師們會顫抖,聽見羅禮士的名字時他們會歇斯底里地大哭
 
Fear of spiders is aracnaphobia, fear of tight spaces is chlaustraphobia, fear of Chuck Norris is called Logic.
害怕蜘蛛叫做「蜘蛛恐懼症」;害怕狹窄空間叫做「幽閉恐懼症」;害怕羅禮士叫做「邏輯」
 
There's no point in crying over spilled milk unless it's Chuck Norris' milk... then you're gonna die.
不要為撒出去的牛奶哭泣,除非那是羅禮士的牛奶…因為你死定了
 
Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
羅禮士可以被零整除
 
The last digit of pi is Chuck Norris. He is the end of all things.
圓周率的最後一位數就是羅禮士,他終結任何事物
 
The chemical formula for the highly toxic cyanide ion is CN-. These are also Chuck Norris’ initials. This is not a coincidence.
劇毒氰化物的化學式寫作CN-,和查克.羅禮士的縮寫相同,這並不是巧合
 
The First Law of Thermodynamics states that energy can neither be created nor destroyed... unless it meets Chuck Norris.
熱力學第一定律描述:能量無法被創造,亦無法被毀滅…除非它遇到查克羅禮士
 
The continents don't drift. They back away slowly from Chuck Norris.
大陸不會漂移,它們只是慢慢地避開羅禮士
 
Chuck Norris once kicked the Earth, it hasn't stopped spinning.
羅禮士曾踢了地球一下,它到現在還在轉
 
Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life.
羅禮士早已經登陸過火星了;這也是為什麼那裡沒有生命跡象
 
Aliens DO indeed exist. They just know better than to visit a planet that Chuck Norris is on.
外星人確實存在。只是他們知道最好不要拜訪有羅禮士的星球
 
There are no mysteries in the universe. Only things that Chuck Norris hasn't shared with the rest of us.
宇宙中已經沒有任何奧秘了。只是羅禮士還沒分享給我們而已
 
Death once had a near-Chuck Norris experience.
死神曾經有過一次「瀕羅禮士經驗」
 
When God said, "Let there be light", Chuck Norris said, "say please."
上帝說:「要有光。」,羅禮士說:「說『請』。」
 
 
 
打著打著就一發不可收拾了
大家看看就好
 
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